As you see, we're experimenting with the protein shakes. We made the chocolate shake last night with milk (we can have 8oz of milk per day) and it was not too bad. From now on, I will listen to the meathead and not go off on my own in protein-land.
Jared noticed that the label on the vanilla shakes boasts "award winning taste." Compared to what? I don't want to know. We also noticed that the label states that this vanilla powdered crap contains "digestive enzymes." Super! We don't know what that is, but at least there's some benefit to drinking this awful stuff.
Wrong again. Approximately 2 hours after my morning vanilla shake yesterday, I discovered that Elite Nutrition LIES. Those vanilla shakes do NOT have an award winning taste and "digestive enzymes" is just a meathead way of saying "explosive doo-doo."
This is ridiculous. The fourth of July is on Saturday, we can have no hotdogs, no beer and no potato salad or apple pie. I believe this diet is unpatriotic, un-American and down right unconstitutional.
Maybe not. But the 4th is going to suck if we can't have beer and fried chicken, which we cannot. I'm scared Adolphus would hunt us down and make us swim across Grapevine Lake. Chicken breast and water it is. Bring on the fire works!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
He took away our milkshakes...
I would comment on whoopin' #3, but it was arms, bicepts and chest, and after being dragged around my whole life by 1400 pound horses, I'm finding my upper body to be pretty strong (if I could just find the muscles under all of this fat!) Jared did not find it quite as easy, but I will not embarrass him by telling everyone that I held up better on the benchpress than he did - ooops!
The diet is a whole other story. During one of our 1 minute recovery breaks, I strolled over to the supply of whey protein for sale at the studio to compare our shakes (we needed to re-supply, so I wanted to make sure we were on the right track). BIG MISTAKE. Adolphus went with me and after the 5th degree regarding the calories and carbs in our current shakes, which tasted fabulously like milkshakes, he took them away.
After getting home and showering, we headed to the Vitamin Shoppe for our weekly protein shopping trip looking for something that's edible. We finally located who Jared lovingly calls the "Roided-out Meathead" who pointed us towards some yummy "chocolate truffle" flavored whey protein with 100 calories and ZERO carbs per shake. Adolphus would be proud. Then, I had the brilliant idea to just try the kind Adolphus was selling at the studio since he would certainly approve of those. Yet another BIG MISTAKE.
Sunday night, we finished the last of our yummy, yummy low-carb shakes and poured one out for our homey (i.e. the fun and tasty life we used to live). And, we tried the new chocolate truffle shakes. Not bad. They taste like chocolate milk that's on the verge of going sour. But, they're edible. Maybe we made good decisions...the vanilla can't be too much worse, right?
WRONG. On Monday, June 29, 2009 at approximately 10am, for the first time I tasted vanilla flavored dog shit. Within minutes, an email popped up from Jared regarding the disgusting shakes. I know Adolphus will tell us that he would "eat dirt" if it provided the proper nutrition, but he's talking to people who love food! Normal people would throw out these vanilla shakes, but not us....we're thrifty....we'll finish them out holding our noses and taking big gulps.
Has it only been one week??
The diet is a whole other story. During one of our 1 minute recovery breaks, I strolled over to the supply of whey protein for sale at the studio to compare our shakes (we needed to re-supply, so I wanted to make sure we were on the right track). BIG MISTAKE. Adolphus went with me and after the 5th degree regarding the calories and carbs in our current shakes, which tasted fabulously like milkshakes, he took them away.
After getting home and showering, we headed to the Vitamin Shoppe for our weekly protein shopping trip looking for something that's edible. We finally located who Jared lovingly calls the "Roided-out Meathead" who pointed us towards some yummy "chocolate truffle" flavored whey protein with 100 calories and ZERO carbs per shake. Adolphus would be proud. Then, I had the brilliant idea to just try the kind Adolphus was selling at the studio since he would certainly approve of those. Yet another BIG MISTAKE.
Sunday night, we finished the last of our yummy, yummy low-carb shakes and poured one out for our homey (i.e. the fun and tasty life we used to live). And, we tried the new chocolate truffle shakes. Not bad. They taste like chocolate milk that's on the verge of going sour. But, they're edible. Maybe we made good decisions...the vanilla can't be too much worse, right?
WRONG. On Monday, June 29, 2009 at approximately 10am, for the first time I tasted vanilla flavored dog shit. Within minutes, an email popped up from Jared regarding the disgusting shakes. I know Adolphus will tell us that he would "eat dirt" if it provided the proper nutrition, but he's talking to people who love food! Normal people would throw out these vanilla shakes, but not us....we're thrifty....we'll finish them out holding our noses and taking big gulps.
Has it only been one week??
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Whoopin #2
Who's idea was it to work out at 6am? Oh yeah, that was MY bright idea.
Today was back and tricepts. Not too bad other than the core work, which always kicks our butts. I found a lot of the exercises today to be similar to riding, so I'm pretty strong there. The ab work this morning was a pilates type stretch out body on ground and then crunch (holding a bar) - Jared was hilarious trying to get coordinated on those exercises - We were on the ground with our feet facing each other. When I lifted up for the crunches, all I could see was him rolling around trying to find his balance and his feet were flailing around. He got it, though, and we're on our way to our six-pack (abs, not beer, yet). My abs are sore and neck is sore (just the muscle that connects it to my shoulders!), but the rest of me feels ok right now - I'll see if I'm still feeling "ok" on Friday.
The hard part this morning was breakfast at 4:45am before our 6am workout. I think we need to get up earlier - I still nearly threw up after about 30 min of the workout. This is really intense.
Before we left, in case he hadn't whooped us enough, we found out our weight and body fat percentage. I have the body fat count of an out of shape 60 year old. Seriously? Seven years ago this week, I was prancing around on a stage in Fort Worth in a swimsuit. I've gone from 24 to 60 in 7 years?? Dog years?? Nice. Now I'm sore and have low self esteem. I'm glad Adolphus is enjoying himself.
Today was back and tricepts. Not too bad other than the core work, which always kicks our butts. I found a lot of the exercises today to be similar to riding, so I'm pretty strong there. The ab work this morning was a pilates type stretch out body on ground and then crunch (holding a bar) - Jared was hilarious trying to get coordinated on those exercises - We were on the ground with our feet facing each other. When I lifted up for the crunches, all I could see was him rolling around trying to find his balance and his feet were flailing around. He got it, though, and we're on our way to our six-pack (abs, not beer, yet). My abs are sore and neck is sore (just the muscle that connects it to my shoulders!), but the rest of me feels ok right now - I'll see if I'm still feeling "ok" on Friday.
The hard part this morning was breakfast at 4:45am before our 6am workout. I think we need to get up earlier - I still nearly threw up after about 30 min of the workout. This is really intense.
Before we left, in case he hadn't whooped us enough, we found out our weight and body fat percentage. I have the body fat count of an out of shape 60 year old. Seriously? Seven years ago this week, I was prancing around on a stage in Fort Worth in a swimsuit. I've gone from 24 to 60 in 7 years?? Dog years?? Nice. Now I'm sore and have low self esteem. I'm glad Adolphus is enjoying himself.
Adolphus
When I first talked to Adolphus, he informed me "if you haven't trained with Adolphus, you haven't worked out." Adophus is an honest man.
We arrived on Saturday morning spry and ready to work out after eating a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee. We were immediately informed that we'd likely throw up, that our food was all wrong and that there were no breaks just because this was a trial session. Ugh-oh.
Eliptical for 5 min then onto work-out for legs. Quad and leg presses, squats and lunges. Pretty grueling at first. Then, we did another set and I started wondering what we were doing there. By the third exercie, I decided it was better to be fat. By the next rotation, I wondered if I'd survive this experience. And, before we were finished, Jared and I were yelling "yes sir!" This was not personal training - it was freaking bootcamp. But, 45 minutes later, we had managed not to puke, we were headed out the door with our new diet plan and an appointment for 6am Wednesday. Me, Jared and our four "Bambi Legs" headed home.
Fast Forward One Hour: YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. I could not get up and down out of a chair. I could not bend over in the shower. I cannot get in and out of the car without wincing. Isn't the second day supposed to be the worst pain? We survived Saturday nonetheless.
Sunday, the sabbath. I would have gone to church, but I was barely able to get out of the bed. When I did get out of the bed, I figured I'd better stay standing since it hurts like hell to get to a standing position. Forget squatting to pick anything up off the ground (ask Jared who accidently dropped something at the grocery store - we both stared at it for about a minute before working up the courage to try to squat to the ground - BIG mistake). And, we found a whole new hurdle - the toilet. How much does it cost to install handicap railings and a higher toilet?? We almost found out. Did you ever realize that the toilet is lower than a chair and requires some level of quadrecept strength to reach it? I didn't either until Sunday. Well - at least we're not working today, right? Advil and the pool should do the trick - oh, hell, we'd better just jump into the water since the stairs and ladder are out of the question.
Monday - The second day IS the worst pain. Our 92 year old founding partner is walking around the firm like a speed demon compared to me. I'm glad my chair has armrests or I'd have to stand up to work. And, thank the Lord, our bathroom has a handicapped toilet with a rail. Monday may be ok after all.
By Tuesday, the pain has decreased to a manageable level. Yay. We get to start over tomorrow. And, now we're two days into the diet and I'm getting cranky.
We arrived on Saturday morning spry and ready to work out after eating a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee. We were immediately informed that we'd likely throw up, that our food was all wrong and that there were no breaks just because this was a trial session. Ugh-oh.
Eliptical for 5 min then onto work-out for legs. Quad and leg presses, squats and lunges. Pretty grueling at first. Then, we did another set and I started wondering what we were doing there. By the third exercie, I decided it was better to be fat. By the next rotation, I wondered if I'd survive this experience. And, before we were finished, Jared and I were yelling "yes sir!" This was not personal training - it was freaking bootcamp. But, 45 minutes later, we had managed not to puke, we were headed out the door with our new diet plan and an appointment for 6am Wednesday. Me, Jared and our four "Bambi Legs" headed home.
Fast Forward One Hour: YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. I could not get up and down out of a chair. I could not bend over in the shower. I cannot get in and out of the car without wincing. Isn't the second day supposed to be the worst pain? We survived Saturday nonetheless.
Sunday, the sabbath. I would have gone to church, but I was barely able to get out of the bed. When I did get out of the bed, I figured I'd better stay standing since it hurts like hell to get to a standing position. Forget squatting to pick anything up off the ground (ask Jared who accidently dropped something at the grocery store - we both stared at it for about a minute before working up the courage to try to squat to the ground - BIG mistake). And, we found a whole new hurdle - the toilet. How much does it cost to install handicap railings and a higher toilet?? We almost found out. Did you ever realize that the toilet is lower than a chair and requires some level of quadrecept strength to reach it? I didn't either until Sunday. Well - at least we're not working today, right? Advil and the pool should do the trick - oh, hell, we'd better just jump into the water since the stairs and ladder are out of the question.
Monday - The second day IS the worst pain. Our 92 year old founding partner is walking around the firm like a speed demon compared to me. I'm glad my chair has armrests or I'd have to stand up to work. And, thank the Lord, our bathroom has a handicapped toilet with a rail. Monday may be ok after all.
By Tuesday, the pain has decreased to a manageable level. Yay. We get to start over tomorrow. And, now we're two days into the diet and I'm getting cranky.
Getting started...
In July 2002, as Miss Longview, I packed my swimsuit, classic "Miss America" business suit and taupe shoes, talent gown and about 15 other fabulous size 6 outfits and headed to Miss Texas. The road to get there was not easy - I had a great trainer (shout out to Larkin!) who encouraged me and guided me from a size 12 to a size 6 in less than 6 months. The secret to my success? Deprivation. Pageant was over, I came home without the crown, but with a healthy body. But, within a month, I'd fallen back into most of my bad eating habits.
In November, I met the love of my life (I was still a size 8 at this point). We loved to talk over dinner, and talk over dinner, and talk over dinner. He also didn't like my cooking. So, we ate out every night. By the time he proposed the following August, I was pushing back into a 10-12. Of course I wanted to look great for the wedding and honeymoon, so we hired another trainer and a nutritionist and began a three month program - really designed for a fitness competition. Back down a size I went into a beautiful ballgown for my Christmas wedding. And, we blew the diet on the honeymoon and never looked back.
Five years and three sizes later, I sit at a desk most days. I've retired one horse and the other sold last year, so there's not been much riding going on lately. Sedentary and horseless I am. I love my job, for which I'm very fortunate, and I also have a great boss who told me a few months ago that I shouldn't let my career get in the way of Jared and I having a family. So, I took his words to heart and talked to my doctor.
Her response? "Well, to have a healthy pregnancy, we need to get 50 pounds off of you." WTF? DID SHE SAY FIFTY? Well, here we go again.
Driving home, I passed "Unique Fitness" personal training studio for the bazillionth time and I finally picked up the phone the following day and called. I spoke to Adolphus, the owner of the studio and personal trainer. We hit it off on the phone, so I signed us (me and Jared - if I'm doing this for us, he's going to suffer with me!) up for our first training session.
And, off we go!!
In November, I met the love of my life (I was still a size 8 at this point). We loved to talk over dinner, and talk over dinner, and talk over dinner. He also didn't like my cooking. So, we ate out every night. By the time he proposed the following August, I was pushing back into a 10-12. Of course I wanted to look great for the wedding and honeymoon, so we hired another trainer and a nutritionist and began a three month program - really designed for a fitness competition. Back down a size I went into a beautiful ballgown for my Christmas wedding. And, we blew the diet on the honeymoon and never looked back.
Five years and three sizes later, I sit at a desk most days. I've retired one horse and the other sold last year, so there's not been much riding going on lately. Sedentary and horseless I am. I love my job, for which I'm very fortunate, and I also have a great boss who told me a few months ago that I shouldn't let my career get in the way of Jared and I having a family. So, I took his words to heart and talked to my doctor.
Her response? "Well, to have a healthy pregnancy, we need to get 50 pounds off of you." WTF? DID SHE SAY FIFTY? Well, here we go again.
Driving home, I passed "Unique Fitness" personal training studio for the bazillionth time and I finally picked up the phone the following day and called. I spoke to Adolphus, the owner of the studio and personal trainer. We hit it off on the phone, so I signed us (me and Jared - if I'm doing this for us, he's going to suffer with me!) up for our first training session.
And, off we go!!
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